Happiness

I really don’t want to jinx this but I finally feel that I have reached a fully satisfied state of happiness (touch wood) and I don’t just mean with school work. Obviously, having your work organised in whatever you are doing is important and helpful for being happy, but there are still other important factors as well that no one really goes through when you are stressing about your GCSEs.

Friends. Last year I went through a rough time with friends and now I have finally gotten out of all the toxic friendships that I had and to be honest I feel so much better for it. One of my friends, I used to be really close with her but she always gossiped about things which would make me fall out with my friends, and no matter what I said she would twist around so it made me sound horrible. She would be the cause of most fallouts that I had. I still speak to her but now I don’t tell her anything personal, I guess we just keep to ourselves. My other friend would pretty much cyberbully me. She would pretty much guilt trip me, making everything that happened between us seem like my fault and my fault alone, which now reflecting on it, was not the case at all. She would pick on all the little things about me saying that they were her things and that I had stolen them from her. I don’t really talk to her at all since the last time she had a go at me, I left it, I didn’t apologise and ask her to be my friend again because I finally understood that she was not a friend I needed.

I didn’t say this because I wanted pity, I said this because I wanted anyone else who reads this to think about their friends and their worth. It took me too long to figure out why these friends were bad and now that I have finally found myself a decent friend group where we all respect one and another, I can finally concentrate on the things that actually matter.

I know how hard it is to get rid of those horrible people that are in your life, but trust me once you do it’s worth it. (I know this sounds cheesy but its true!)

So I just wanted to dedicate this post to my real friends who have helped me through those rough times and my one true best friend who stuck by me the whole way through, my Mum.

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Time

As much as I keep telling myself to get on with things, or do these things this week, I can never get round to doing it. I always seem to be busy and by the time it’s Sunday I am looking back on the week thinking about what I could have done better.

Like for instance, a diet. I had a goal for this year to stay fit and eat healthily but I just can’t stick to it, or even my hobbies that I love to do, I can never seem to find the time to do it. Weeks are flying by and I am scared that I will be the same with my Revision for GCSEs so I need to practice. So far I have tried goals for the week and timetables to follow but there is so much that I want to do that I never seem to be able to do any of it.

At the moment I am trying to write a book, but I have to be in the mood to write and I just never seem to have the time to do it. I’m not really a busy person, most the time it will be just me sat in front of the TV and before I know it, it’s dinner time and I am going to bed. So I need to do something and change this quickly.

This week I am going to try a list of goals, I think this is probably the best way to go about things and also I am going to write my goals on here and tell you next week how it goes. Wish me luck! My goals for this week are:

  • Complete a chapter of a book
  • Take some photos (This is really important for me and I explained why in my last blog post)
  • Practice the Piano for at least 3 hours over the week

Okay, so that’s only 3 goals so I should definitely be able to complete it for this week. Have any of you struggled with finding time for your hobbies? and if so do you have any advice?

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Photography vs Geography

If there was one thing that I struggled with last year the most, it has to be choices. I had all my choices under control, I was going to pick textiles, photography, and history. But then I got a good mark with my geography test and I began to have doubts. I absolutely loved textiles and there was no way I could give that up, especially if I wanted to have that as another career path. But I had recently taken an interest in photography and even saved up and bought a camera. However, what if I did badly in my history.

I need a good humanity mark (history or geography) and I had always loved history ever since I was little and would watch Horrible Histories back to back, but what if I failed, at least if I did Geography as well maybe one of them would have a good mark. In the end, I swapped it for photography and had to push past all those doubts. My theory was that when I was older I could take up photography again maybe as a course, and for now just do it as a hobby.

Now I’m in year 10, photography students are everywhere and I am again starting to doubt my choices. It feels like everyone is doing the course and I even know someone who is swapping to that course.  I can’t change now, especially since I have had such a good start on my other subjects, changing would mess up my lessons and timetable. I just really wish that we could do more GCSEs, although that would probably be more pressure. Maybe they should have more clubs.

They had a photography club last year which I joined, but I don’t think that they will do it this year, or if they do It will be for the lower key stage. To be honest, if they had any art club I would probably join, I loved doing art, I just wouldn’t want to do it as a GCSE because then I feel like there would be more pressure on it to look good. Also, I probably wouldn’t consider myself as that good of an artist to do it as a career, it just would have been nice to be able to go and spend time in the art room since only the people who are doing it as a GCSE are allowed in there.

I guess just over the week I have been feeling a little down about my options, and maybe a little jealous of other people’s, I think I am just going to try and dedicate more of my free time to go out and take some pictures with my camera and edit them and also start drawing to take my mind off of it.

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